So I just realized that I never actually updated you to my monthly focal point of “relationships” in February, but its really going to be continued in this month anyways.
Pinteresting quotes for my One Little Word of “Soar” I realized that something that stops me from soaring in my life, is fear.
Fear holds me back from so many things in life: fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of what others truly think. Specifically, in this “in between job” phase of my life I’m deeply afraid of is not being purposeful in this life that God has given me. I feel like he’s prepared me with talents, gifts, passions, and education but either the doors aren’t open, or I’m too scared to twist the handle, I’m really not sure.
complained mentioned my joblessness a lot, but to be honestly I haven’t applied for many jobs. I so deeply want to find the “right” job. One where I can flourish in purpose and relationships. Right now (without a license) I qualify for more of the social work type jobs (the ones infamous for sucking out your soul). I really don’t want to start another job like that, only to have to leave in a few months from burnout. :-/
Also relationships (especially new ones) are challenging for me. So often I feel like I strike out in small talk, when I try to make a joke, or connect with people I don’t know well. This is such a habit for me that despite that I want to engage people, I’ll stand behind a wall instead of sharing.
If I’m not full of fears, then I avoid some opportunities in life in favor of the comfort of home. I think that was the biggest focus of February, saying “yes” to more relational activities.
So, I make this challenge for myself of focusing on intentionally leaving my comfort zone and my fears this month. My goal is each day when I want to shy away from something out of fear or inconvenience, I pick at least one thing and do it anyways.
For example, today this is an example of being brave. It’s more embarrassing to commit to a challenge when everyone can see it. Also opens me up to the possibility that friends might purposely challenge me to things outside of my comfort zone, etc.
Another example of soaring away from fear was enjoying the long nap hubby and I had between church and a dessert reception back at church later in the evening. I’m a control freak, and despite not having a job, I appreciate the chance to do things on Sunday in order to “prepare” for the week. This means starting on laundry, making a meal plan, buying groceries. Instead, I decided to tell my worries about starting the week behind to “take a hike.” I allowed myself to not have a plan, but to simply enjoy resting and relaxing.
(Don’t expect to see me do anything really crazy like jumping out of an airplane). I just want to live less out of habit. I want to focus less on my comfort or insecurities and more on others.
If you’ve got any ideas feel free to let me know!