I’m now on a wordpress site hosted by my talented IT Husband, more to follow about that later.
I’m also a quarter of a century old as of yesterday, more to post about that later.
I’ve begun my internship, well sorta anyways.
Most of you know about the struggle that I’ve had over the past two years to find an internship. Semester after semester I would drag myself through the process of stalking every counseling location in the area, only to be rejected, likely because of my lack of experience. Ironically enough you’d think that the point of the internship was to get counseling experience after one’s 60 hour degree, but most places ask that you already have a years worth of experience.
I subjected myself to interview after interview, email after email, voice message after voice message. After the interviews I would feel like I did well; I could see myself working there. However, I would already receive the same email/phone call that would leave me in tears crying out to God, wondering why I wasn’t good enough.
I kept pushing through, painfully trying to submit myself to God’s plan. I clung to the truth that there was a reason for my trials. I questioned for awhile if I was even supposed to continue pursing the degree, wondering if the lack of internship was a sign from God. Pushing on, I kept reminding myself that whenever I did get my internship, it would be the right fit, and I would have a moment with a client or something where I would just “know” that they were the reason that God had kept me waiting, that something about me would help them in a way that no one person could.
So after the end of Xtreme Impact, the time came to focus on obtaining an internship. If I did not obtain one for the Spring, I would likely need to step down to the 30 hour degree program. The stakes were high.
I called people, resent my resume. I stalked the people who had previously told me no, thinking that maybe my sheer perseverance would win them over.
My final interview was with someone I’d interviewed with months ago, but I decided to give it another try. She wanted another interview! I came in, and I talked to hear about twitter and using social media. At the end she sounded very interested in what I could offer, and my previous office management experience. I knew she was serious when she called my references. My references told me what they said, and I was easily broken to tears in humility.
The night before I got the confirmation call, I was certain that I had the position. At that point I felt the overwhelming dread of the fact that “holy crap! I am going to be working with real people soon! Can I even do this?”
Another thought I had, upon receiving the confirmation of being accepted into the Intern position with this Christian private practice, was that the hardest part of the journey was ahead of me. I was struck with the realization that likely the previous years of trial was simply to prepare me to live only in Him, and to pray without ceasing. It is only going to be harder, more challenging, and more growing, as I work with broken or dysfunctional and stubborn people.
Right after Husband and I returned home from our Thanksgiving vacation, I found myself acting as office manager/administrative assistant until we could hire a replacement. Honestly, as silly as this sounds, when my supervisor schedule me for this I cried at first like a baby saying “I don’t want to work forty hours a week, I don’t want to work on my birthday” I know I know, its time for me to grow up. But, we have a word for that in counseling, its called PROCESSING :0).
So I showed up that Thursday and Friday, scared that I would fail. Due to my previous office experience under pressure at my beloved Xtreme Impact I soared. With the grace of God I was able to catch on quickly, and balance much. (I had also been able to work/ observe 3-4 days under the previous office manager). My supervisor and the director of the business was verbally open about how well she thought I was doing. I was on cloud nine on Friday!
This week has continued the struggle of balancing managing a private practice of a large client load and about 8 counselors, with its ups and downs. I’ve also been helping us through the process of hiring and training the new office manager. I love the opportunity to establish this trusting relationship with my supervisor. God has given me a heart and compassion towards her through this tumultuous time. I know for a fact that this was the reason that He waited so long. He knew that she would need me in this perfect time. I’m humbled by this realization, how early it has occurred in my internship experience. Excitedly, I will serve in this way to meet the rest of the counselors and get to be a blessing to them. I will need their support when I begin to counsel on my own!
PS I took my Comp exam a few months ago and I passed! (At least the non integration section). This means that I just need to retake the other half of my test, and complete the 600 hours and I’m done! One sad thing is that I could not count any of my hours towards my internship as I can’t count them till Dec.14th. But, at least I’m becoming comfortable with my counselor and site location, and I’m making some extra moolah before Christmas!
As hard as it can be I encourage you to wait for the Lord. His timing is really perfect!
” Wait for the Lord;
be strong and courageous.
Wait for the Lord.”