Made Peace With The Highs and Lows

I’m still trooping through the year trying to figure out what PEACE is, what it looks life in my life, and how to let more of it in, and let the bad stuff out.

Something I’ve come to recognize (okay, really, just be honest with myself) these past few months are my struggles with the ups and downs of life. In high school I used to joke with my friends that I didn’t need to do drugs because I was already so “high on life.” A large aspect of my personality is this effervescent bubbly-ness. The bottom line is I DESPERATELY want to be happy, so I seek these things out. This could look like being easily entertained, or enjoying the simple things in life (like a cupcake in a classroom because its a kids birthday).

I started this blog in one of those low times after I got married. I’d gotten married and graduated and quickly learned that neither one of those things were going to bring me the complete happiness I was looking for. I felt purposeless not having a course syllabus to guide my life, and I realized all of my poisonous relationship insecurities. So, this blog became a redirection (a counseling term, basically distracting yourself) to focus on the little things in life, and maybe I’d figure out the big things later.

I really am just so addicted to being happy. I want the high energy levels. Those are the times when I’m able to follow through with this thing that I hate in my life (chores). I want my spirit to soar.

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Sometimes in little bad times, I’m able to just sort of “positive attitude” myself out of them. My personality type (ENFP) LOVES those moments, sees them as challenges to rise above. But, after awhile we can get drained. That far reaching telescope of brightness easily reverses to inspect all of the tiny¬†minutiae of my life, pointing out everything that is “wrong.”

This has probably been the most intense this past week. I was on the high of having completed my first year at the local community service board. In discussing my progress with my supervisor she reflected how much I’d grown, and I easily agreed with her. I could -feel- the gained experience, especially the ability to be more present with my clients.

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Then, I had a rough week. A couple of things came up. Basically, it boils down to not being present with those two cases. I didn’t meet those teens where they were. It was crushing to hear this in their self reports. One of them I thought we’d have a great therapeutic relationship, but it turned out that I annoyed her. At the end of the day I was thankful for the diverse personality among my teammates, that is the point, we are all different. BUT, and I really did let that BUT be bigger than any other truths. I FELT crushed thinking that I was sucking at the fundamentals of counseling (you know, being a good listener). ¬†It led to deep reflection, not all of it as healthy as I’d like to admit.

BUT (see let’s use some of those for the positive!)

I did a vision board earlier this year as part of Ali Edward’s One Little Word prompts. I always enjoy the freeing ability in these types of projects, saving magazines that I find all the time. (I also got to use my amazing folding table in my amazing new craft room!!!)

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This theme of finding peace by thru emotional balance can easily be observed. (And is represented by the pictures of various seasons, oh I just LOVE how it came together)

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One of my favorite magazine cut out finds is this quote, “If you are only happy at the summit you aren’t going to be happy very often” Its from an adventure magazine interview with someone who ACTUALLY scales mountains. (It makes me wish I still had the rest of the article to see if there is more wisdom there). The vision board sits on my desk next to my computer and I see this statement often. Its true, if we are only happy when we are succeeding at the very top of whatever our mountains are, we will be happy like 1% of the time. We love movies about people overcoming the odds, in the harsh realities of life, because the majority of life is the struggle.

Isaiah 26:3 says “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you” John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (See! there’s that BUT being used for the power of GOOD!)

So, I want to learn to find lasting peace in the struggle. I want to learn to focus on Christ in all things.

Practiced My Roar at The Lion King

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I have this friend of mine we’ve been lucky to stay friends since our college days…but even more specifically she’s my “musical friend” we go and see tons of shows together (the ones that my hubby would LOVE to skip). We are going to watch our Alma mater produce Beauty and the Beast this weekend, but in March we were able to watch one of my bucket-list broadway shows: The Lion King. I was disappointed last time that I didn’t snag tickets when they were in Richmond (a couple of years ago I think) so I pounced on them with a friend seeing it in her neck of the woods in NC.

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We dressed up, split a delicious fancy cupcake, took pre-show pictures (I turned profile to hide my poision ivy face) though I went to the ER the night before driving to her house….can I tell you how much I was NOT going to miss this show?!

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I just stared…mouth agape at the opening sequence. I’d heard about how amazing the puppets, the costumes, the audience interaction was…but it was NOTHING to actually sitting there watching it. There was movement everywhere…cheetahs, lions, flocks of birds, all types of animals. I literally smacked R on the arm to get her to glance around to watch a giant elephant amble up to the stage. It was nothing short of magical as I whispered “this has become my new favorite musical.”

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Honestly, I’ve never seen a Broadway show more elaborately brought to life. I never felt that the puppets made the performance feel child-like. The puppets/costumes are painted in a tribal/African style which makes it feel more authentic than the original movie. There were a few differences from the movie (some additional scenes/tweaks) but the classic songs and lines were all included. (And I may or may not have been singing along)

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The acting of Scar was probably one of my favorite parts. He has this dry humor and he kept with the integrity of the famous music and lines while adding his own flair and personality in.

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The children playing Simba and Nala were also adorable. We saw the boy as we took the elevator to the parking garage. Everyone flocked around him, complimenting him, and a couple asked for pictures. (I refrained but REALLY wanted a picture). He was so chill with the swarm. Later, we saw them again driving the car out of the garage. I leaned out the window to tell them “good night” to which R calls me a creeper….(so apparently I didn’t restrain myself enough).

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We ended up with lots of swag. A photo book detailing the production of the show, a tote bag, and I purchased a necklace. R said “ooh I could use the tote bag as a dance bag” and because I’m a horrible copy cat I decided to do the same. But seriously, how snazzy is it to take a Broadway2016-03-20 14.05.27 style bag to practice? Lets me dream big dreams, right?